The post where I try and work out my feeling about being here...

Maybe it's the fact that for the last few months I have been a visitor in someone's home that is making me feel this way. But I have not been able to get over the feeling that this is just temporary and that I am just visiting. I live here, this is the apartment that I share with my sister. I have my own room and I have my things in the kitchen. I have a key and I know in my mind that this is now my place to live, but it still doesn't feel like I belong here. I know that I am going to participate fully in the school and activities that are offered here but I almost feel a little apart from the whole thing. I know that I am supposed to be here and that this is The Lord's university and that he directed my path here.

Today in sacrament meeting the unofficial theme of the testimonies was trials, I have to remember what I said.
"I am thankful to the Lord for the trials that he gives me. I know that they are how I learn and become more like God. I have to look at each trial that I go through as a learning opportunity. If I remember that each trial is something the Lord wants me to learn then I will have an easier time with that trial and it will seem to go by faster."
There is so much for me to learn here and not just things to learn in school. I have so much to accomplish and I know that I am fully capable of that learning. I don't know what my future holds but the Lord does, each thing that he puts in my path is something that I will need in the future. I look at all the jobs that I have had in the past and I can see know how each of them was preparing me for the future. I know that I received those jobs as a blessing from the Lord. All of them helped to create the person that I am right now, sitting here on this couch in little Rexburg Idaho. I also have to remember that I am going to be different in the future. I am going to evolve and change and be different from now. I am different from the person that I was at the beginning of the year. I look back at my early 20's and I am so glad that I am a different person. I have been molded in the way that the lord would have me be. He put people in my path who taught me and gave me new perspective on life.

So the question is: What is this experience in my life teaching me? What is going to be the outcome of this portion of my life? How can I become a better person and rise up to the challenge set forth by the lord for me?

Right now, because often times the lesson is revealed much later after the trial, I think that I am supposed to learn to be self sufficient. I have largely been that in Minnesota but I relied too much on the people who I view as "adults" in my life. I am the adult in my life. I have things that I have to do and I now have to rely on me to do them. I am also learning how to serve the lord better. I know that there will be opportunities here that I can get no where else. These things will be ones that I carry with me for the rest of my life. This is not just preparing me for a future job, but for a future that is bright and filled with the Lord. If I remember these things I know that I will be much more fulfilled as a person and as a daughter of God. I don't know for how long that I am going to be in Rexburg. There are things in my life that are uncertain. I was inspired to be here and I was blessed in so many ways for that to happen. The lord even made sure that I would have a way to commit the time that I desired to schooling and not have to commit to getting a job. I also must remember that just because something is right at one time, does not mean that it is right forever. I know that the lord will keep me here for as long as he needs to so that he can teach me important things before sending me on the next path on my Journey of life.