It's amazing what the Lord can do

Over the last year my testimony of the Lord working in my life has been increasing. The blessings that I have received in my life are clearly the Lord's hand. But now, at school, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he blesses me every day.
Some people that know me very well know that I can jump from thing to thing and topic to topic very quickly. While in high school I would get overwhelmed with the homework that I had and basically "shut down" and walk away from the work, not because I didn't know I needed to do it but because it was just too much. Now, I am able to start a task and finish it. Especially with homework, I see it and see all the things that need to be done and I have a sense of peace. I know that I will be able to get it done and I don't panic about doing it. I also don't get side tracked while working, if I find a particular thing interesting I don't feel the need to immediately start looking into it. If I do I am able to quickly get back on task.
How do I know that this isn't just me being older? I know this because it is only when I am doing schoolwork that I feel this way. If I am doing something not related to school or church I am back to my old self. I know that the Lord is blessing me and that he is helping me to do my best in school. I know that he is calming me when I might otherwise get overwhelmed. If I learn nothing else here, just learning that "if the Lord wants you to do it he will provide a way" is what I needed to learn.

The post where I try and work out my feeling about being here...

Maybe it's the fact that for the last few months I have been a visitor in someone's home that is making me feel this way. But I have not been able to get over the feeling that this is just temporary and that I am just visiting. I live here, this is the apartment that I share with my sister. I have my own room and I have my things in the kitchen. I have a key and I know in my mind that this is now my place to live, but it still doesn't feel like I belong here. I know that I am going to participate fully in the school and activities that are offered here but I almost feel a little apart from the whole thing. I know that I am supposed to be here and that this is The Lord's university and that he directed my path here.

Today in sacrament meeting the unofficial theme of the testimonies was trials, I have to remember what I said.
"I am thankful to the Lord for the trials that he gives me. I know that they are how I learn and become more like God. I have to look at each trial that I go through as a learning opportunity. If I remember that each trial is something the Lord wants me to learn then I will have an easier time with that trial and it will seem to go by faster."
There is so much for me to learn here and not just things to learn in school. I have so much to accomplish and I know that I am fully capable of that learning. I don't know what my future holds but the Lord does, each thing that he puts in my path is something that I will need in the future. I look at all the jobs that I have had in the past and I can see know how each of them was preparing me for the future. I know that I received those jobs as a blessing from the Lord. All of them helped to create the person that I am right now, sitting here on this couch in little Rexburg Idaho. I also have to remember that I am going to be different in the future. I am going to evolve and change and be different from now. I am different from the person that I was at the beginning of the year. I look back at my early 20's and I am so glad that I am a different person. I have been molded in the way that the lord would have me be. He put people in my path who taught me and gave me new perspective on life.

So the question is: What is this experience in my life teaching me? What is going to be the outcome of this portion of my life? How can I become a better person and rise up to the challenge set forth by the lord for me?

Right now, because often times the lesson is revealed much later after the trial, I think that I am supposed to learn to be self sufficient. I have largely been that in Minnesota but I relied too much on the people who I view as "adults" in my life. I am the adult in my life. I have things that I have to do and I now have to rely on me to do them. I am also learning how to serve the lord better. I know that there will be opportunities here that I can get no where else. These things will be ones that I carry with me for the rest of my life. This is not just preparing me for a future job, but for a future that is bright and filled with the Lord. If I remember these things I know that I will be much more fulfilled as a person and as a daughter of God. I don't know for how long that I am going to be in Rexburg. There are things in my life that are uncertain. I was inspired to be here and I was blessed in so many ways for that to happen. The lord even made sure that I would have a way to commit the time that I desired to schooling and not have to commit to getting a job. I also must remember that just because something is right at one time, does not mean that it is right forever. I know that the lord will keep me here for as long as he needs to so that he can teach me important things before sending me on the next path on my Journey of life.

Rexburg, Finally and Faith

Well, I made it to rexburg, after a few glitches I am (mostly) moved in. I have a cute little place that I am sharing with my sister. I am pretty pumped that I get to live with her. It's going to be great. I am still not sure how i feel. I got pretty homesick a few times but I am sure that once I get busy I will be just fine. I know that the lord wants me here for whatever reason. I just have to have faith that it will be revealed. I continue to look to my patriarchal blessing for inspiration. When I read it I know that the lord knows me and has a plan for my life, I just have to live my life worthy of the blessings that he wants to bestow upon me.

Nostalgia

I am sitting in a hotel in Omaha Nebraska reflecting back on my last few days in Minnesota.  That is such a bittersweet thought for me. To know that I am not sure when I will be back. My family moved to Minnesota when I was 4. I grew up in a place that was actually pretty great. I began planning to leave in March, for 9 months I have been working on all the things that needed to happen, and it was never very far from my mind that this would be my last year in Minnesota.   I would be driving somewhere and would hit me that I would not see it again after this year, I would say to myself that this is the last spring that I was going to be there, the last summer and the last school year. I started to look at my hometown a little differently. It was so easy to just overlook all that there is there. I have been so blessed by all that I have been able to do and experience. I had access to so much, the Minnesota Orchestra, The Minneapolis Museum of Art, cuisine from around the world, beautiful parks, thousands of lakes, beaches, biking trails, cultural events and so many that I can't even name them all. I often wonder if I will settle in a place that can even compare to it.

On friday I went into work and it hit me that I would be unemployed at 3:00. I have had continuous employment for the past 11 years. Over half of that time has been spent at a middle school.  It became more than just a job. I never dreaded going into work. I loved just about every minute of my time there. That really was a huge influence on shaping me as an adult. I began there as a young adult just barely out of my teens, I was not much older than the students that i was working with and through that time I discovered who I am as a person. I learned so much, not only about teaching and instructing but about myself and what I was capable of doing.

I know that God has been preparing me through out these years to become who I am, every single moment in my life has been leading to exactly where I am now. In this hotel room beginning a new part of my life, every decision I have made, every event that taught me about who I am has been guided by the hand of God.

  I have been the one saying goodbye all these years as people have moved on and here I am the one that is going on to new adventures.
I have been so incredibly blessed by the people in my life and I know that I will never forget them. There are people who have come and gone and people that I will know forever. People who have shown me love and compassion and I know that I can never replace them in my heart.

And as I drove through Eagan for the last time, I realized that I would be leaving a little piece of my heart in the midwest.

Pants and church

Why I don’t wear pants to church

Please remember that this is my opinion, I am entitled to mine as you are to yours please respect this as I have respected yours.

Let me first start off by saying that I have no problem with women who wear pants to church. A woman who I have admired for years has worn pants to church. It is quite understandable. I live in Minnesota, where the winter temperatures drop well below zero and the wind chill brings it down even more. I once asked my dear Mother why we wear skirts to church. She replied with a simple answer that was and still is why I choose to wear skirts every Sunday, we wear our best clothing because we are showing our respect for our Heavenly Father. I wear pants every day of the week, I am much more comfortable in them, I always have been. When I put on a skirt or a dress on Sunday morning I feel different, I feel more reverent and I feel as though I am saying I will dress as though I have a very important person to meet, and I do have an important person to meet, My Heavenly Father. I go to church to meet God.  I go because I know that there I will feel the Spirit of God and I will be sustained throughout the week as I move about in the world. While reading an article about gender equality in the church I saw the following question.  

“Why have decisions and doctrines impacting women around the world been made without consulting the presidencies of the Church's global women's auxiliaries?”

This is not doctrine, but if asked by a member or non-member for my opinion on the question I would reply as follows.

The decisions and doctrines that that are made in our church are handed down, by God, through divine inspiration to the Prophets and Apostles that I sustained and continue to sustain every 6 months during General Conference. I know that each of the men that I sustain are worthy priesthood holders who have our best interests at heart. They would no more seek or desire to domineer and oppress the women in the church than would our Heavenly Father.  

This is a second question that caught my eye.

 Why do Mormons routinely downplay our belief in a Heavenly Mother and refuse to talk about her in church on Sundays?

I want to quote a song that I have sung in church on more than one occasion. I think it’s a beautiful song and one that speaks to my heart.

O My Father which was written my Eliza R. Snow, in the third line we see this line: 

In the heav'ns are parents single?                                                                                                             No, the thought makes reason stare.                                                                                                          Truth is reason; Truth eternal                                                                                                                  Tells me I’ve a Mother there.

That is not the only reference to a Heavenly Mother in the song, again in verse 4 we ask again “Father, Mother, may I meet you in your royal courts on high?” I too wondered why we don’t talk about our Heavenly Mother, why she is not mentioned. I was not told to stop asking, I was not told that it was something that we don’t talk about. I was given an answer by a teacher who helped me understand it better. Think about how maligned God is, how his name is used not in reverence but as an epithet. Why would we ever want to have the same thing happen to our Divine Mother. I know that if there is a Heavenly Father there must be a Heavenly Mother. God created us in his image and if that is so then creating children whether children of flesh and blood as here on the earth or spirit children in the preexistence there must be both parts, male and female. We will one day know our Heavenly Mother but until then I will continue on in the belief that she is so loved and respected that Heavenly Father would keep her from the abuse and outrage that is directed at him on a daily basis.

But hiding our differences and questions has costs as well -- to those who maintain silence and to the larger faith community. It fosters fearfulness, timidity, inauthenticity and intimidation. It fosters the assumption that all Mormons think and believe alike, and with this is fosters unintended thoughtlessness and carelessness. Not only toward Mormons concerned with traditional gender inequalities but to anyone who doesn't fit the cookie-cutter Mormon model: from the stay-at-home father and the gay teenager to the new convert and the interracial family.

I feel that I must make known my opinions on this particular paragraph of the article. I am going to put my opinion out there. It may cause some people to become angry with me. It may cause some people to judge me. But here it is, if you don’t fit the “cookie cutter Mormon model” it is just fine with me. Who am I to judge another person? I am not God, I was instructed by God to love everyone. Everyone. Every time.

I don’t need to tell the stay at home father that he is “doing it wrong”. He and his wife have made the decision that was best for THEIR family, not mine. 

To the gay teenager, you love who you want to love, and I’m going to love who I want to love. No questions, no judgment, no hatred. I am just trying to get through this life as best I can, I don’t need to make it harder for you. 

To the new convert, welcome. I am so glad that you have found this church. I don’t care what you have done in your past. All that matters is going forward. I am still learning too. 

To the interracial couple, we are all one race, human, there are different ethnicities and different skin colors. There are not different races, the only difference between my white skin and my friend’s dark skin is the amount of melanin that is produces. Just because I produce less does not make me better. 

I think that if we truly understand the Savior and the church we would realize that we need to love one another and not cast judgments at our fellow brothers and sisters. We are not instructed to love one another as long as that person is just the same and has the same opinions and looks just like you. There are no conditions to love one another. I know that I am in no way perfect but I am trying and that is what matters to me.

As a woman I know that I have a special place in the church. I get to do what I do best. I get to nurture. This makes me so happy. I am not saying this because I have been brain washed into thinking it. I am only saying this because it is what I, as one member of a global church, feel my role is. I wish nothing more than to be able to teach and nurture the spirit children that Heavenly Father will hopefully entrust to my care. I know that through my example and teachings I can have an impact on the church. Every time that I hold and care for my dear nephew I am holding a future priesthood holder. If I am blessed with sons, I will be responsible for their care and upbringing. I look to the mothers of the Stripling Warriors as an example of how to raise boys to become Men of God. I hope sincerely that my future husband will have the same thoughts about gender. That he will be respectful of women and will teach our sons to have respect and honor for all women. No matter what roles they desire to fulfill in our world. 

There need to be strong women. There need to be women and men who stand up for the women who are oppressed and who are not respected. As a woman in the LDS faith I do not believe that we are unequal. We have different roles to fulfill in the church. Each role is vital to the success of the Lord's work.

President Joseph Fielding Smith once said:
“There is nothing in the teachings of the gospel which declares that men are superior to women.

  If there are women in the gospel who feel oppressed and belittled by men please remember that it is not God's will to subjugate women. The gospel, the doctrine, the divine prophecy that is handed down to the priesthood holders is perfect and it is intended to aid in the Lord's work.  

 The most noble, exalting calling of all is that which has been given to women as the mothers of men. Women do not hold the priesthood, but if they are faithful and true, they will become priestesses and queens in the kingdom of God” (Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie

Hello is any one out there?

I have always been a horrific journaler <(that's not even a word) So it would follow that I am a horrific blogger. I guess that would make sense because I haven't blogged in about 4 years. I always blamed it on being kind of boring. I guess that's true, who wants to hear about my going to work, and then more work and I can't even talk about the funny things that happen at work (confidentiality laws). But Now I am finally doing something different. I am going back to school. Woo Hoo! Not just school but I am moving across country to do it.
I also didn't really blog because well, who wants to hear about what I have to think. Then I decided, who cares if no one wants to read it. I want to write about it. I also don't journal because who wants their future progeny to hear about all my inner thoughts. I don't want that. So in the interest of having something to pass on and just because I want to I am going to start blogging so that I can get some of these things off of my mind and into the interwebs.

What Mattters Most

Our Prince

Here's your baby Allison. I hope you like it.

My Two Favorite Younger Sisters

I saw the word art that is on this page and I knew immediately who it was describing. I am so greatful to a mom who has all the images that I need/want already on the computer. Enjoy.

A very early mother's day present...

I saw the middle picture of my mom at 5 months old and I decided to find pictures of all of the girls at about the same age, I faded the pictures of the girls so that they wouldn't over power my mom's picture. I also added the framing around the girls by making a new page and using the eyedropper tool to get the color from the edge of the middle picture to make them match a little bit. Kind of simple but I like them better that way.

(Allison the ribbon comes from a free kit on Ikea goddess's webpage the link is www.neverendingfairytale.com/scraps it's the purple princess kit )

My very first attempt at Digi Scrapbooking

Well I don't think I did too bad. It was very fun making everything work together and getting it just right. I am now going to go download more stuff.

Digi Scrapbooking

Well after being idle for... a long time, I have finally found something that is interesting to blog about. What is that you ask....

Digital Scrapbooking!

While we were in Utah (see my mom's blog) Allison showed us some digital scrapbooking things that she was doing on her computer. She also said that the program that my parents had gotten her for christmas was on sale at Costco. My mom and I were both interested but didn't commit to getting the program. Well while we were driving home (we were just outside of Park City) We decided that we would really like to have the program for the home computer. So I called Allison and asked her to buy the program and have it shipped to us. Well this was done and it made it to our house by Monday (wow that was fast, it was even in Eagan before we were.) So I have been collecting lots and lots and lots of papers and elements during this last week. Tonight I am hoping to finally make a scrapbook page, and since I have nothing all that interesting of my own to scrapbook I will be using a lot of my niece and nephew and my sister who is on her Mission in Australia. Look for a completed page in the next day or so and let me know what you think.

A few of the sites where I found some cute things:


www.simplycleandigiscraps.com/freebies super cute and lots of elements

www.digitalscrapbookingfreebies.com

www.peppermintcreative.com free download in the bottom right corner

www.cottagearts.net/samples.html I haven't gotten anything yet but there are some cute ones

www.squidoo.comdigitalscrapbookfreebies this is the list that I found all the links from

I blog like I journal

I thought I might need to put something up since I last posted about my trip to Utah that happened awhile ago. Not much is new in my life. I started a new school year and I have been working in the Salon for one year. It's pretty crazy to think that I have been licensed for a year. It has been fun and a learning experience.

On another note, Emily left on her mission and is doing well. We look forward to her emails and letters. I put a counter on my sidebar counting down the days until she gets back. Feel free to anxiously wait count down with me for the next 518 days.

Utah Trip

So I'm a little late blogging about my Utah trip, I have been home for about two weeks. I left on the 21st of March and got home on the 26th. Not a long trip but a much needed break. Thanks to my Sister and my Brother-in-Law for letting me come and visit them. It was so fun to see them.

Getting there was a bit of a pain, the night before I left it was a little snowy, not much just a light coating the next morning when my Mom opened the window there was about two inches on the ground covering everything. My flight which was supposed to leave at 9:25 am didn't leave the ground until 11:30. I finally arrived and it was gorgeous weather pretty much the whole time that I was there.

Saturday the 22nd was Nathan's birthday so in the evening we went to the Gateway Mall and I took Sofie and met up with Kristina. Kristina and I had a great visit and we got to catch up which was so nice.

Sunday we went to church then had their neighbors, The Cox Family, over for dessert and games.

Wednesday evening we went to the Lion House for dinner and then Allison and Nathan went to the temple while Sofie and I hung out at Temple square. We went to the North Visiters center where Sofie charmed all the sister Missionaries by pointing to all the pictures of Jesus and saying his name. A huge thanks to the Deseret Bookstore for letting Sofie and me hang out there for a while.

Out the window on the way to Utah

Sofie in pigtails and at the museum

Sofie wants something and now she has it

Sofie in her Easter outfit

Oh Deer! ****UPDATE*******

Well, I have met the limit for the amount of deer that I can bag in a month, 1. I was driving down the road this evening after work and a deer ran out from the side of the road and I hit it. I was going about 30, because I stepped on the brakes to try to avoid it and I was not able to. So now I have front end damage that will need to be taken care of so that I can have a good car again. Thankfully, Mom and Dad came out to meet me so that I would not have to sit by the side of the road alone. I had an officer from the Eagan PD come out and check it out for me. Well hopefully I can get it taken care of soon.

The Usual Suspects...

The Usual Suspects are Shears, Thinning Shearsand of course Razor

the culprit was the thinning shears and the victim was my middle finger (again) (see earlier post). I was giving a haircut and removing bulk from the top of a kids head when I turned to say something to his mother and my middle finger got in the way (I hold the hair up between my index and middle fingers as I cut.) I took a big ol' chop and got my finger instead of the hair. Ouch. I got a band aid and fixed it but as I was putting on a new one a little later the manager and the owner walk in to the salon.(embarrassing) So now I am wearing a band aid so that I don't bleed all over everything and I am hoping that I will not have to worry about cutting myself again for a few months.

I've been tagged...

Emily, my lovely sister, tagged me. So here goes in no particular order...

1. I love Nancy Drew Books and I want to name a daughter Nancy Drew. I have liked her since I was a little girl and I want to one day own all the books in the series.

2. My favorite number is 3 I have no logical reason for this nor do I remember a time when this was not true. When someone asks this question I automatically think of 3.

3. I want to own a grey cat and name it Pilchard after the cat from Bob the builder. I couldn't get my sisters to agree to this name for the two current cats so I bide my time.

4. I adore old movies. My Favorite Actress would have to be Doris Day with Audrey Hepburn a close second. I am right now watching Doris Day and Rock Hudson in Pillow Talk.

5. I like watching Educational shows like Nova and the discovery channel shows, I find them incredibly fascinating and I could watch them for hours.

6. I want to work on a cruise ship and sail around the ocean doing hair. Most ships have salons on them and one of my ultimate goals is to work in one.

7. I love to read murder mystery books, Mary Higgins Clark is a particular favorite of mine. I have read all of her books and eagerly await each one the she writes.

Well that's all I have to write so now I tag, Kristina L. and Tacy M. K.

I heard a Rumor...

Closed...

I decided that I wanted a new phone so I went to sprint to see what kind of deals they had and I found the coolest phone as an upgrade so I bought it. It is super fun and the coolest thing ever. It took me a while to actually go through with the purchase but I did, and then I had to wait for it to be delivered and I tracked it the whole way here(thank goodness for modern technology) I am having the funnest time playing with it.

Opened...

Why Don't you ever Blog?

Well in answer to this question my life is actually kind of boring. Don't get me wrong I have a fun time with my friends but nothing huge happens on an average day. Infact on an average day I work, go home for ten minutes, Work, go home, check facebook and then sleep. Not much to write about. I really can't blog about what happens at my day job because that would break a lot of confidentiality stuff then I wouldn't have that job. There are a few things that I will blog about. Here's a list:
1. A date (this hasn't happened in a few years, don't hold your breath)
2. A new Job (but I like both of the jobs I have now)
3. A fun camping trip (two words, Minnesota Winter)
4. A super funny thing that I have witnessed.
5. A T.V. Appearance
6. What I got for Christmas
7. A major life event
8. My birthday
9. An out of town trip
10. Something that I find interesting

My Best Friend's Wedding

Well Kristina and Stephen are now officially married. They got married here in the Saint Paul Temple and had their reception in Burnsville. Here are some pictures of them after their sealing and reception.