My new terrarium

I have a confession to make, I kill plants. Like every time. Then I found these pretty little plants, They are Tillandsia seideliana or air plants, they don't need to be planted in soil, and they can survive for a long time without water, perfect for me. The Benson greenhouse has a plant store and when I wandered in there I bought a few. 

When I brought them home I put them in some moss in this 

its really just the bottom of a 2 liter soda bottle. Kind of tacky/college style.

 Today I was on a mission to find a cool container and I found this one 

 at an antique store (I'm pretty sure its not even an antique)  gross, dirty

 

 But I do know how to wash it (thankfully)

So much better, nice and clean!

I got some sand and rocks.

SAND!!

                                                                     

 ROCKS!!!

 MORE ROCKS!!

Sand, Rocks, Moss pre-plants

The finished product. I like it.

Antique stores make me all domestic and stuff

But seriously, I am domestic. I like to cook and craft and do all that fun stuff but when I go to antique stores I feel the need to buy a house and decorate it with super cool stuff. Today after class I decided that I would go check out some antique stores that I had seen while driving around Rigby and Idaho Falls. I love antique stores, it's my stress relief, I could spend hours just poking around little (or big) shops full of history. I don't have to talk to anyone and I can just let my imagination run wild. My favorite kind are the ones that go on and on forever. I found one once in Washington state, it took me over 4 hours to get from top to bottom. I loved it...
But back to today, I was on the hunt for something specific. I wanted a cool container for some plants that I got. The first one I went to was tiny. It was an antique store, (usually one dealer, not a ton of variety).
I then found Trackside Antique Mall, (big, lots of dealers, lots of variety) I walked in and I was in heaven. 3 floors of stuff, I wandered around for a couple of hours and I found the perfect container for my project. It's probably not even an antique but I'm ok with that, because it was perfect.
I was headed to the beauty store and I saw a sign for Antiques and Collectables, I decided to give it a chance and Woah Baby! This one made Trackside look like heaven's waiting room. This one was classy, and by classy I mean Limoges china classy. I did find some aluminum jello molds which are a particular obsession of mine and it was a pretty good trip, I definitely enjoyed myself. I am going to enjoy finding all the other cool antique stores around here.

Responsibilty to our Benefactors

 While tooling around on Facebook this morning I saw an article that caught my eye. I usually read them, form an opinion and then move on never putting my views out there. But this time I couldn't help but sharing the story and then coming here to further put my views out there. I don't like making my opinion "in your face", if you ask I will answer and listen to what you have to say. Keep in mind that these are my opinions. If you don't like them or they don't agree with your opinions that doesn't make me a terrible person, it just makes me different. With that said read on if you would like to read what I have to say.
 There needs to be a complete overhaul of this money given to people who don't use it wisely. I have no problem with my tax money going to people in need as long as there is some responsibility for how it is spent. I didn't make a lot of money before I went back to school but I was responsible with what I made. Additionally I made sure that I had my own health insurance because I do have health issues. At the age of 21 I was working, paying for my own health insurance, paying for my own schooling, and I was able to buy a car, make the payments and pay the insurance on that. I was fortunate enough to attend a school close to home so I could live with my parents. But this was on the condition that I continued to be responsible and go to school, work and pay my own bills. I didn't have all the luxuries that are out there so why should someone who makes no effort to work or better themselves get the luxuries while I do all the work? What is the difference? Why was I able to do these things and others "need" to rely on handouts from others to live? The answer is simply responsibility. I was held responsible to the people who were helping me, my parents. My help was contingent on my responsibility and the choices that I made. I feel the need to reemphasize the fact that I have absolutely no problem with people who get government assistance as long as they are working to improve themselves so that they can provide for themselves in the near future and people who have an actual disability that keeps them from working. Remember in Moses 7:18 (Book of Mormon) "And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them."

Snopes article verifying the story of Dr. Starner Jones who had his letter to the editor published in the Mississippi Clarion-Ledger.

It's amazing what the Lord can do

Over the last year my testimony of the Lord working in my life has been increasing. The blessings that I have received in my life are clearly the Lord's hand. But now, at school, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he blesses me every day.
Some people that know me very well know that I can jump from thing to thing and topic to topic very quickly. While in high school I would get overwhelmed with the homework that I had and basically "shut down" and walk away from the work, not because I didn't know I needed to do it but because it was just too much. Now, I am able to start a task and finish it. Especially with homework, I see it and see all the things that need to be done and I have a sense of peace. I know that I will be able to get it done and I don't panic about doing it. I also don't get side tracked while working, if I find a particular thing interesting I don't feel the need to immediately start looking into it. If I do I am able to quickly get back on task.
How do I know that this isn't just me being older? I know this because it is only when I am doing schoolwork that I feel this way. If I am doing something not related to school or church I am back to my old self. I know that the Lord is blessing me and that he is helping me to do my best in school. I know that he is calming me when I might otherwise get overwhelmed. If I learn nothing else here, just learning that "if the Lord wants you to do it he will provide a way" is what I needed to learn.

The post where I try and work out my feeling about being here...

Maybe it's the fact that for the last few months I have been a visitor in someone's home that is making me feel this way. But I have not been able to get over the feeling that this is just temporary and that I am just visiting. I live here, this is the apartment that I share with my sister. I have my own room and I have my things in the kitchen. I have a key and I know in my mind that this is now my place to live, but it still doesn't feel like I belong here. I know that I am going to participate fully in the school and activities that are offered here but I almost feel a little apart from the whole thing. I know that I am supposed to be here and that this is The Lord's university and that he directed my path here.

Today in sacrament meeting the unofficial theme of the testimonies was trials, I have to remember what I said.
"I am thankful to the Lord for the trials that he gives me. I know that they are how I learn and become more like God. I have to look at each trial that I go through as a learning opportunity. If I remember that each trial is something the Lord wants me to learn then I will have an easier time with that trial and it will seem to go by faster."
There is so much for me to learn here and not just things to learn in school. I have so much to accomplish and I know that I am fully capable of that learning. I don't know what my future holds but the Lord does, each thing that he puts in my path is something that I will need in the future. I look at all the jobs that I have had in the past and I can see know how each of them was preparing me for the future. I know that I received those jobs as a blessing from the Lord. All of them helped to create the person that I am right now, sitting here on this couch in little Rexburg Idaho. I also have to remember that I am going to be different in the future. I am going to evolve and change and be different from now. I am different from the person that I was at the beginning of the year. I look back at my early 20's and I am so glad that I am a different person. I have been molded in the way that the lord would have me be. He put people in my path who taught me and gave me new perspective on life.

So the question is: What is this experience in my life teaching me? What is going to be the outcome of this portion of my life? How can I become a better person and rise up to the challenge set forth by the lord for me?

Right now, because often times the lesson is revealed much later after the trial, I think that I am supposed to learn to be self sufficient. I have largely been that in Minnesota but I relied too much on the people who I view as "adults" in my life. I am the adult in my life. I have things that I have to do and I now have to rely on me to do them. I am also learning how to serve the lord better. I know that there will be opportunities here that I can get no where else. These things will be ones that I carry with me for the rest of my life. This is not just preparing me for a future job, but for a future that is bright and filled with the Lord. If I remember these things I know that I will be much more fulfilled as a person and as a daughter of God. I don't know for how long that I am going to be in Rexburg. There are things in my life that are uncertain. I was inspired to be here and I was blessed in so many ways for that to happen. The lord even made sure that I would have a way to commit the time that I desired to schooling and not have to commit to getting a job. I also must remember that just because something is right at one time, does not mean that it is right forever. I know that the lord will keep me here for as long as he needs to so that he can teach me important things before sending me on the next path on my Journey of life.

Rexburg, Finally and Faith

Well, I made it to rexburg, after a few glitches I am (mostly) moved in. I have a cute little place that I am sharing with my sister. I am pretty pumped that I get to live with her. It's going to be great. I am still not sure how i feel. I got pretty homesick a few times but I am sure that once I get busy I will be just fine. I know that the lord wants me here for whatever reason. I just have to have faith that it will be revealed. I continue to look to my patriarchal blessing for inspiration. When I read it I know that the lord knows me and has a plan for my life, I just have to live my life worthy of the blessings that he wants to bestow upon me.

Nostalgia

I am sitting in a hotel in Omaha Nebraska reflecting back on my last few days in Minnesota.  That is such a bittersweet thought for me. To know that I am not sure when I will be back. My family moved to Minnesota when I was 4. I grew up in a place that was actually pretty great. I began planning to leave in March, for 9 months I have been working on all the things that needed to happen, and it was never very far from my mind that this would be my last year in Minnesota.   I would be driving somewhere and would hit me that I would not see it again after this year, I would say to myself that this is the last spring that I was going to be there, the last summer and the last school year. I started to look at my hometown a little differently. It was so easy to just overlook all that there is there. I have been so blessed by all that I have been able to do and experience. I had access to so much, the Minnesota Orchestra, The Minneapolis Museum of Art, cuisine from around the world, beautiful parks, thousands of lakes, beaches, biking trails, cultural events and so many that I can't even name them all. I often wonder if I will settle in a place that can even compare to it.

On friday I went into work and it hit me that I would be unemployed at 3:00. I have had continuous employment for the past 11 years. Over half of that time has been spent at a middle school.  It became more than just a job. I never dreaded going into work. I loved just about every minute of my time there. That really was a huge influence on shaping me as an adult. I began there as a young adult just barely out of my teens, I was not much older than the students that i was working with and through that time I discovered who I am as a person. I learned so much, not only about teaching and instructing but about myself and what I was capable of doing.

I know that God has been preparing me through out these years to become who I am, every single moment in my life has been leading to exactly where I am now. In this hotel room beginning a new part of my life, every decision I have made, every event that taught me about who I am has been guided by the hand of God.

  I have been the one saying goodbye all these years as people have moved on and here I am the one that is going on to new adventures.
I have been so incredibly blessed by the people in my life and I know that I will never forget them. There are people who have come and gone and people that I will know forever. People who have shown me love and compassion and I know that I can never replace them in my heart.

And as I drove through Eagan for the last time, I realized that I would be leaving a little piece of my heart in the midwest.

Pants and church

Why I don’t wear pants to church

Please remember that this is my opinion, I am entitled to mine as you are to yours please respect this as I have respected yours.

Let me first start off by saying that I have no problem with women who wear pants to church. A woman who I have admired for years has worn pants to church. It is quite understandable. I live in Minnesota, where the winter temperatures drop well below zero and the wind chill brings it down even more. I once asked my dear Mother why we wear skirts to church. She replied with a simple answer that was and still is why I choose to wear skirts every Sunday, we wear our best clothing because we are showing our respect for our Heavenly Father. I wear pants every day of the week, I am much more comfortable in them, I always have been. When I put on a skirt or a dress on Sunday morning I feel different, I feel more reverent and I feel as though I am saying I will dress as though I have a very important person to meet, and I do have an important person to meet, My Heavenly Father. I go to church to meet God.  I go because I know that there I will feel the Spirit of God and I will be sustained throughout the week as I move about in the world. While reading an article about gender equality in the church I saw the following question.  

“Why have decisions and doctrines impacting women around the world been made without consulting the presidencies of the Church's global women's auxiliaries?”

This is not doctrine, but if asked by a member or non-member for my opinion on the question I would reply as follows.

The decisions and doctrines that that are made in our church are handed down, by God, through divine inspiration to the Prophets and Apostles that I sustained and continue to sustain every 6 months during General Conference. I know that each of the men that I sustain are worthy priesthood holders who have our best interests at heart. They would no more seek or desire to domineer and oppress the women in the church than would our Heavenly Father.  

This is a second question that caught my eye.

 Why do Mormons routinely downplay our belief in a Heavenly Mother and refuse to talk about her in church on Sundays?

I want to quote a song that I have sung in church on more than one occasion. I think it’s a beautiful song and one that speaks to my heart.

O My Father which was written my Eliza R. Snow, in the third line we see this line: 

In the heav'ns are parents single?                                                                                                             No, the thought makes reason stare.                                                                                                          Truth is reason; Truth eternal                                                                                                                  Tells me I’ve a Mother there.

That is not the only reference to a Heavenly Mother in the song, again in verse 4 we ask again “Father, Mother, may I meet you in your royal courts on high?” I too wondered why we don’t talk about our Heavenly Mother, why she is not mentioned. I was not told to stop asking, I was not told that it was something that we don’t talk about. I was given an answer by a teacher who helped me understand it better. Think about how maligned God is, how his name is used not in reverence but as an epithet. Why would we ever want to have the same thing happen to our Divine Mother. I know that if there is a Heavenly Father there must be a Heavenly Mother. God created us in his image and if that is so then creating children whether children of flesh and blood as here on the earth or spirit children in the preexistence there must be both parts, male and female. We will one day know our Heavenly Mother but until then I will continue on in the belief that she is so loved and respected that Heavenly Father would keep her from the abuse and outrage that is directed at him on a daily basis.

But hiding our differences and questions has costs as well -- to those who maintain silence and to the larger faith community. It fosters fearfulness, timidity, inauthenticity and intimidation. It fosters the assumption that all Mormons think and believe alike, and with this is fosters unintended thoughtlessness and carelessness. Not only toward Mormons concerned with traditional gender inequalities but to anyone who doesn't fit the cookie-cutter Mormon model: from the stay-at-home father and the gay teenager to the new convert and the interracial family.

I feel that I must make known my opinions on this particular paragraph of the article. I am going to put my opinion out there. It may cause some people to become angry with me. It may cause some people to judge me. But here it is, if you don’t fit the “cookie cutter Mormon model” it is just fine with me. Who am I to judge another person? I am not God, I was instructed by God to love everyone. Everyone. Every time.

I don’t need to tell the stay at home father that he is “doing it wrong”. He and his wife have made the decision that was best for THEIR family, not mine. 

To the gay teenager, you love who you want to love, and I’m going to love who I want to love. No questions, no judgment, no hatred. I am just trying to get through this life as best I can, I don’t need to make it harder for you. 

To the new convert, welcome. I am so glad that you have found this church. I don’t care what you have done in your past. All that matters is going forward. I am still learning too. 

To the interracial couple, we are all one race, human, there are different ethnicities and different skin colors. There are not different races, the only difference between my white skin and my friend’s dark skin is the amount of melanin that is produces. Just because I produce less does not make me better. 

I think that if we truly understand the Savior and the church we would realize that we need to love one another and not cast judgments at our fellow brothers and sisters. We are not instructed to love one another as long as that person is just the same and has the same opinions and looks just like you. There are no conditions to love one another. I know that I am in no way perfect but I am trying and that is what matters to me.

As a woman I know that I have a special place in the church. I get to do what I do best. I get to nurture. This makes me so happy. I am not saying this because I have been brain washed into thinking it. I am only saying this because it is what I, as one member of a global church, feel my role is. I wish nothing more than to be able to teach and nurture the spirit children that Heavenly Father will hopefully entrust to my care. I know that through my example and teachings I can have an impact on the church. Every time that I hold and care for my dear nephew I am holding a future priesthood holder. If I am blessed with sons, I will be responsible for their care and upbringing. I look to the mothers of the Stripling Warriors as an example of how to raise boys to become Men of God. I hope sincerely that my future husband will have the same thoughts about gender. That he will be respectful of women and will teach our sons to have respect and honor for all women. No matter what roles they desire to fulfill in our world. 

There need to be strong women. There need to be women and men who stand up for the women who are oppressed and who are not respected. As a woman in the LDS faith I do not believe that we are unequal. We have different roles to fulfill in the church. Each role is vital to the success of the Lord's work.

President Joseph Fielding Smith once said:
“There is nothing in the teachings of the gospel which declares that men are superior to women.

  If there are women in the gospel who feel oppressed and belittled by men please remember that it is not God's will to subjugate women. The gospel, the doctrine, the divine prophecy that is handed down to the priesthood holders is perfect and it is intended to aid in the Lord's work.  

 The most noble, exalting calling of all is that which has been given to women as the mothers of men. Women do not hold the priesthood, but if they are faithful and true, they will become priestesses and queens in the kingdom of God” (Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie